Where I am Right now... another character building journey

"We are inclined to think that everything that happens is to be turned into useful teaching. In actual fact, it is to be turned into something even better than teaching, namely, character." ~ Oswald Chambers


Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character;
and character, hope.
And hope does not disappoint us,
because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
(Romans 5:1-5)





It's been a hard year But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful

It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like...
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope,
I couldn't feel a thing

Just a little while back I was desperate, broken, laid out,
hoping You would come
And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you
And I know you're here

And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars
And more like... Character

by Sara Groves from her album All Right Here

Solid

Whenever I start doubting the day to day, I put this song on repeat and play it over and over until I'm solidly where I need to be again.




by Natalie Grant from her CD Relentless.

My Life Verses... from where else? Lamentations.

I really am, if you know me at all, an optimistic and hopeful person. Over all. But I must admit that there are times that I get caught up in the hard stuff, and when I sit back and think about it, there have been some real moments of trial in my life, times of testing, going through a fire if you will. And sometimes, I've ended up a little bit (or a lot) bitter...regretful, but true.

But you know what? It always comes down to the lovely recall that my Savior is faithful. My God is the one true God, and in spite of my venting...fighting...shaking my fist at God, each and every morning he returns to me true, full of mercy, full of never ending love, always faithful.

And that knowing is why my life verses come from the oddes of places for a hopeful person, the book of Lamentations. I speak of the day that it became apparent that my the crux of what matters in my life were contained in these verses in this post. It's actually a sermon (sorry.) that I was privileged to preach when our much longed for daughter Bug was a month old. She came to us through a long and winding road that includes infertility and loss and adoption and on that morning we were celebrating her joining our family with our church family through a shower for our daughter. It really was glorious. And the song I chose to close the service was this one... Great is They Faithfulness.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

And that wasn't the first time we've used that song in celebration. Our wedding day we sang it together with the 400 and some family and friends who joined us for that amazing day. And since our wedding day, we've had this favorite hymn a part of the celebration of Bug and Si's dedication ceremonies, when we committed to raise them to love Christ, giving them back to God for His use. Because of what this song represents to me, I can't get through it ever without tears flowing, hands lifted in praise for I know He is faithful. He is. All I have needed His hand does provide.

And these verses from Lamentations are the crux of life for me. Where I end in my own attempts to keep up the hope, when I can't find peace, I needn't look further than the only One in whom we can find true HOPE... a faithful God whose mercies fall without measure, whose love is sure and endless.

When you start the book of Lamentations, it sure doesn't look like this is where it is going. The author of this book is definitely at the end of his rope. There's nothing, absolutely nothing that has happened in his (or her!) life that makes sense, that "feels" good, that seems right. And still, he/she gets to the point of nothingness... no peace...no joy... and...

Even at times when my soul can't find peace, when the happy stuff is hard to see from here, this ONE thing I call to mind and then I have HOPE... the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is Your Faithfulness. The LORD is my portion. And therefore I will hope in Him." (From Lamentations 3)

from Sara Groves' CD Conversations

That is where my hope is found... wholly, solely in a God who loves me unfailingly, whose mercies cover my sins, my fears, my struggles, my life.

Sometimes hope can only be found in the end of knowing what it is to live without hope. Sometimes hope shines brighter when you've gone through the trial. Maybe that is what makes the trial, the something to lament about, worth it. I cling to that... and hope.

Why Fear? Jesus shows his storm-killing power.

One day Jesus got into a boat with his closest friends, the people who (supposedly) knew him best, and he said to them, "Let's go to the other side." So they started across the lake and while they were sailing, Jesus fell asleep. A huge windstorm swept across the lake, and the waves were fiercely beating the boat, which was filling with water faster than the disciples could get it out, and they were in danger. They went to where Jesus was sleeping quietly on a soft cushion, shouting and screaming "Master, we are dying here! Don't you care about us????" Jesus woke up and rebuked the wind, and shouted to the sea, "PEACE! BE STILL!" And then he turned to his beloved friends and said, "WHY ARE YOU AFRAID? Do you have so little faith in me?" They stood there in awe and in fear and said to each other, "Who is this, that even the wind and the waves obey him?" (From Matthew, Mark and Luke)...




I forget, so easily forget in the middle of the storms in my life, that my Beloved Friend Jesus has power over the winds and the waves. He will never fail me, even when it seems he is sleeping through the worst of my pain. I believe always...

Why Fear? Even though I am powerless, He is Strength.

Have you not known or heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint.
He does not grow weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint.
He strengthens the powerless.
Even the youngest will faint and be weary...
even the young will fall exhausted.
But those who WAIT ~ HOPE ~ for the LORD, shall renew their strength.
They shall mount up with wings like eagles.
They shall run and not be weary.
They shall walk and not faint.

(Isaiah 40:27-31)

Sometimes it is hard to feel like He is listening.

Does He hear? Does He care about the things that matter to me?

But in this doubt, it hits me time and again.
He has proven Himself true.
I can trust the Unseen because He is not unknown to me.
And he wants me to cry out to Him with my needs, but in the end, He also wants what is best for me.

"What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He didn't keep His own Son from us, will He not give us everything else? Can anything ever separate us from the Love of Christ? Does it mean He no longer loves me if I have trouble, or distress, or feel hunger or pain? If I'm attacked or in danger, does that mean He no longer cares? I AM CONVINCED that NOTHING can ever separate us from God's Love. Neither death nor life, angels or demons, neither our FEARS for today nor our worries about tomorrow. No power in the sky or on the earth... nothing will separate us."

(From Romans 8)...

I am NEVER alone.



By BarlowGirl from their CD Another Journal Entry

A Song of Thanksgiving

Let All Things Now Living

Words: Katherine K. Davis, b1892

Music: “The Ash Grove”, a traditional Welsh melody.

Let all things now living a song of thanksgiving

To God the creator triumphantly raise.

Who fashioned and made us, protected and stayed us,

Who still guides us on to the end of our days.

God’s banners are o’er us, His light goes before us,

A pillar of fire shining forth in the night.

Till shadows have vanished and darkness is banished

As forward we travel from light into light.

His law he enforces, the stars in their courses

And sun in its orbit obediently shine;

The hills and the mountains, the rivers and fountains,

The deeps of the ocean proclaim him divine.

We too should be voicing our love and rejoicing;

With glad adoration a Song let us raise

Till all things now living unite in thanksgiving:

“To God in the highest, Hosanna and praise!”